I wasn't "blowing up" I thought I was just stating my opinion. AND I wasn't ranting about it being bothersome to use warnings. I get warnings. Warnings make it possible to be able to skip something you don't want to read or can't read due to personal experiences or believes I was just questioning the logic and reasoning behind using a separate post while still allowing squick.
You're the one making this an issue I thought this was questions and discussion post not "ask a question and i'll make you feel stupid for even bothering" post. Next time you volunteer to be a mod be mindful that: (a) people's views vary on pretty much everything (b) you're going to get questions that you may view as stupid because we poor anons are NOT in your head and were not part of the production of this new kink meme. (c) This is a NEW structure things are bound to get bungled up, people be confused over even the simplest things. (d) -and this is a big one- when you have a lot of information in one post it can often times seem contradictory and even the most meticulous reader will miss a line or two on their few first times reading through something. It is IMPOSSIBLE (unless you're super awesome like Spencer Reid) to be able to pick out each individual line and automatically filter it into your brain. No matter how hard someone tries, the brain gets tired and skips things. PLUS if your family has no idea about your fanfiction dirty little secret you have to stop in the middle of post and come back, then you forget where you were.
ALSO I believe I stated that it was a good idea and I wasn't agreeing with the other person about going back, it's just going to take some getting used to. I was trying to offer a solution to a perceived problem, while offering reasons while, at least I, think it is a problem. Note that I actually said that something that would be helpful was a Kink list for the vanilla post. If you volunteer to mod you should take suggestions as they are meant... friendly. Don't get defensive and make someone feel like an idiot for even trying. While you may think that you were crystal clear... at least 2 people thought that the post wasn't, I can guarantee you that at least a few more think the same.
I truly do understand the need for warnings and also the "safe space" I'm a victim of domestic violence and rape... so I get how some things can be triggering. What I DON'T get is why someone can't just skip over that particular post if it is triggering or squicky. No one is forcing anyone to read anything. Hell no one is forcing someone to be on this kinkmeme. This, though, is just a personal opinion and I understand the need for some people for a separation (cause no matter the reasons behind it, that's what it is) and it is a good idea as I've said many times already.
I've just read the link you provided and I tend to agree with you both sides have sympathy (while I really don't agree that rape is the point of kinkmeme, i thought it was anonymity for prompters and writers that would never ask/write something where it could be traced back to them) but I fully believe that that's why there should be warnings in the headings so I really lean towards the "don't like it, don't read it" side.
I think 'SafeSpace' might be a better term. Because you have answered my questions even though we've gotten into a debate (sorry for that btw) I do have a better understanding of what should go in the vanilla/safe space.
I can't really speak for whomever posted this first but I don't see a need to revert. Your reasons for a "safe space" are extremely valid and poignant.
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Re: It is NOT a separation, it is the additional safe space
Date: 2011-10-31 09:04 pm (UTC)You're the one making this an issue I thought this was questions and discussion post not "ask a question and i'll make you feel stupid for even bothering" post. Next time you volunteer to be a mod be mindful that:
(a) people's views vary on pretty much everything
(b) you're going to get questions that you may view as stupid because we poor anons are NOT in your head and were not part of the production of this new kink meme.
(c) This is a NEW structure things are bound to get bungled up, people be confused over even the simplest things.
(d) -and this is a big one- when you have a lot of information in one post it can often times seem contradictory and even the most meticulous reader will miss a line or two on their few first times reading through something. It is IMPOSSIBLE (unless you're super awesome like Spencer Reid) to be able to pick out each individual line and automatically filter it into your brain. No matter how hard someone tries, the brain gets tired and skips things. PLUS if your family has no idea about your fanfiction dirty little secret you have to stop in the middle of post and come back, then you forget where you were.
ALSO I believe I stated that it was a good idea and I wasn't agreeing with the other person about going back, it's just going to take some getting used to. I was trying to offer a solution to a perceived problem, while offering reasons while, at least I, think it is a problem. Note that I actually said that something that would be helpful was a Kink list for the vanilla post. If you volunteer to mod you should take suggestions as they are meant... friendly. Don't get defensive and make someone feel like an idiot for even trying. While you may think that you were crystal clear... at least 2 people thought that the post wasn't, I can guarantee you that at least a few more think the same.
I truly do understand the need for warnings and also the "safe space" I'm a victim of domestic violence and rape... so I get how some things can be triggering. What I DON'T get is why someone can't just skip over that particular post if it is triggering or squicky. No one is forcing anyone to read anything. Hell no one is forcing someone to be on this kinkmeme. This, though, is just a personal opinion and I understand the need for some people for a separation (cause no matter the reasons behind it, that's what it is) and it is a good idea as I've said many times already.
I've just read the link you provided and I tend to agree with you both sides have sympathy (while I really don't agree that rape is the point of kinkmeme, i thought it was anonymity for prompters and writers that would never ask/write something where it could be traced back to them) but I fully believe that that's why there should be warnings in the headings so I really lean towards the "don't like it, don't read it" side.
I think 'SafeSpace' might be a better term. Because you have answered my questions even though we've gotten into a debate (sorry for that btw) I do have a better understanding of what should go in the vanilla/safe space.
I can't really speak for whomever posted this first but I don't see a need to revert. Your reasons for a "safe space" are extremely valid and poignant.