cm_kink | Questions and Discussion Post for the Criminal Minds Kink Meme

Entry tags:

questions

Questions and Discussion Post for the Criminal Minds Kink Meme

What it said, questions? Anything on kinks you just want to throw out here? lol?

ETA:
...and finally, following ansera's fine tradition, here's a brief PublicServiceAnnoucement:
InRealLife: Please remember to practice Safe Sane Consensual: Whenever you do someone, you must confirm the presence of affirmative consent, if it's anything less then an explicit verbal yes, please please please make sure that the moaning is in pleasure, etc etc. It's not going to kill the mood if you affirm consent by huskily asking your partner "What would you like me to do to you now?" Additionally, don't spring forced play on someone without talking about it first, remember, a mood ruined by talking about it NOW can be more easily repaired than Accidental Assault! Safewords don't work when someone is gagged, etc etc

...and if you missed Sexual Health or need more brush up, Go Ask Alice

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

This new concept with the "Everything Goes" section and the "Vanilla" section is too complicated. There is a lot of grey areas and everyone's perception of whether a particular request is vanilla or not is different.

If you've noticed, this time round, there aren't many people participating. Usually by now, there would be like thousands of comments. Is there any way that you can go back and use the old format where we just post our request?

Thanks.

And the system about posting headers and pairings and everything is SO complicated and hard to understand! Could that, at least, be simplified or eliminated?

I recommend that you list your pairings twice to ease search. There is a convention in some fandom, where instead of listing "A/B" to means that this pairing involves a and b, it lists AB and BA to indicate who is 'on top' during a sex scene. Some people don't care, some people do. If you don't, just list it as "A/B", if it's D/s, list it as AB or BA depending on who is 'on top' during the scene in question.

For ease of search, especially for the people getting this in their email, totally make your subject header informative:

"A/B, BA, B helps A act out a non-con fantasy"

"A/B, BA, roleplaying, bondage, necktie"

"A/B, AB, pegging"

"A/B/C, ABC CBA, the answer to a shipwar is threesome!"

Okay, tell me what you want, and I'll put it into format. OR, you could just post it, but then your prompt might not be found and be answered.

I'm not going to make a round up post, I'm going to rely on Google Search when it kicks in, or if it doesn't, my backup plan is this: Copy and Paste the entire page of comments, maybe put ten pages of prompts in one post, so it's all in one page, and then people can search through it using Ctrl + F. With the contents of pairing itself, it's easier to find all Hotch/Reid if it's all listed as Hotch/Reid...especially when we get up to threesomes, it's easier to find all A/B/C then if someone has to search for A/B/C and B/C/A and etc etc.

So x/y is the contents of pairing identifier.

Whereas xy or yx is the 'who is more dom' identifier, because there are people who specifically have a knackering for ReidHotch but not HotchReid.

...and again, if you read: "Formatting: I recommend that " you don't have to use the format, it just makes things easier for everyone combing the prompt afterwards if you do.

At this point I'll like to say that I followed Quite A Few kink memes, Marvel, Watchmen, etc, sometimes prompts aren't filled for YEARS. Prompter ask for something like XYUI, it disappears unanwsered among thousands of comments (prompts), until years later, someone else googles for XYUI, finds the prompt, and answer it.

I'm setting it up so that it's easily searchable later, look, we are on google;

http://www.google.ca/search?gcx=c&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=site%3Acm-kink.livejournal.com%2F+

/where we just post our request?/

Um, you can do that now, in Everything Post, it means everything.

I don't SEPARATE the type of prompts, precisely because there are gray areas, if you aren't sure if something would be triggering, don't post it in the Vanilla post, just the Everything Post.

If you want to post a kink prompt, post it in Everything Post, AND then, you think about it, only if you are sure that it's not triggering, should you post it in the Vanilla post, if not, just leave it.

DUDE, this is just like the regular kink meme, the vanilla post is just an additional space for people who normally miss out on kink memes altogether, you can just ignore it if you don't feel like Accommodating them, but I'm disappointed that there are people who would ask me to remove something inclusive that doesn't even exclude them!

I have to agree. We hardly have ANY participants, both fillers and prompters. I'm actually quite disappointed in this particular Kinkmeme... maybe it's just lack of promotion.. i'm not sure but it still makes me sad.

There is quite a bit of grey areas between "vanilla" and "everything goes" The no violence thing I get, but there's a lot of other things that I'm not sure where to post. What's "vanilla" is usually a matter of opinion, I think vanilla is just two people (homosexual or heterosexual) and not much else.. lots of fluff, whereas some people think threesomes and hot wax are vanilla. It really depends on your own personal kink in real life and where other kinks fall on the spectrum. Like someone who is into S&M reguarlay... their view of "vanilla" is going to be a bit different than someone who has, for example, only has been with one or two people and the "kinkiest" they've done is maybe some really bad dirty talk.

Anyways my point is that if there's going to be this delineation between the two at least have a very clearly compiled kinks list of what is allowed on the "vanilla" post. "Everything goes" is self-explanatory but the vanilla post is where I think things are going haywire.

You can post everything on the first one, the second one is just space space.

"Vanilla" explains very clearly that squick is allowed, almost everything really, AS LONG AS it's not violence or consent issues.

If you are not sure, just don't go there.

It's probably lack of promotions. I don't have a time limit on this, so I favour posting a new promo in a new comm every other day to keep it going as oppose to all at once (and flooding somebody's friend list).

If the posts just left it at that the confusion would not be a problem. Your explanation gets extremely convoluted and makes it sound like things shouldn't be included other than just consent issues or violence. So maybe you should just make it a little more simple. And it doesn't help that people may still be scared to post. The post also said anything that's possibly triggering... again that's a matter of personal opinion what's triggering for one may not be for another. So having that little disclaimer in there makes people scared to post, afraid that they're going to go against what the mods "clearly" outlined.

What I personally don't understand is why there is a separation between the two if squick is allowed in the vanilla post. Why not just have everything on one post, if things are outlined in the heading (like you've "recommended") shouldn't people just be able to skip over? To me having a separate post for "Vanilla" things... there should be no squick allowed. No one is forcing anyone to read the prompts or fills that might be harmful to someone's psyche. It's a personal choice to read what you read. Like me, I'm not a fan of non-con or het so guess what instead of complaining i just scroll right over the posts with those particular things included.

In theory the separation is a very good idea, but I don't think it's being executed to the fullest potential. I am VERY happy that the time limit has been eliminated though and new kink memes always make me happy.

Anyways... since it's not violence or consent issues... incest would be allowed in the vanilla prompt?

Which would be clear, if you read the posts.

5A, Everything Goes: Hotch and Haley mutually respectful hurt and comfort sex - with or without a strap on, Foyet rapes Hotch, Tobias tortures Reid but then Morgan sex him better, Emily having sex with Doyle while undercover and fearing for her life, Reid fisting Garcia while carefully following Garcia's instructions.

Now think, if you are a victim of violence, especially sexual violence, which of the above is likely to trigger the bad memory? There are different things that trigger different people, it could be innocent things like a smell or a nick name or even the taste of something they ate while in captivity, but, I think, sexual violence or violence towards a person in a vulnerable position is very certain to trigger most. While something gross like sex on a bathroom counter, while it make a lot of people go, that's full of germs ew, it's not going to trigger a violent memory if it has no consent issues or play with consent issues. If you are not sure if it'll trigger, don't post in Vanilla at all, just Everything.

If after all those instructions, you are too afraid to post, okay, fine, I rather that some people who didn't understand that don't post at all, then to not have a safe space for people who have refrained from kink memes thus far because of trigger issues.

If there is a way to make the addition of a Safe Space more user friendly, I welcome it, already, I have refer to 5B as 'Vanilla' Safe Space as opposed to just Vanilla, I might change it to 'Safe Space' to make it more clear, but I'm NOT going to take a step backwards on inclusiveness just because it's a bit confusing to a few! There are a lot of people prompting in the Vanilla posts as well, and well, take a look at this, my original reason for starting this:

http://bbt-kink.livejournal.com/538.html?thread=407322#t407322

It was just, a very unpleasant blow-up, in which BOTH SIDES have my sympathy. The Yay side just want to have their kink, it's a rape fantasy, but the Nay side, I can't blame them for being disturbed too, it was a kink meme, but imagine this: you are someone who have a close encounter with violence, AND, for you, rather than dealing with it by incorporating it into fantasy (what some members of the Yay side do), it just repulse you, you want no part of it. How frustrating it must be when all you want is some kinky sex, A eats ice cream off B's chest, maybe even bondage and spanking, but then there is violence, there is a lack of consent?

A 'Safe Space' post is good for preventing a blow up like this, people who can't stand violence and consent issues can stick to 5B, and 5A can prompt whatever they want without someone ranting at them.

...and I wish I could remember that cap_ironman member post that give a very good rundown about the people who ranted about how /bothersome/ it was to have to use warnings (basically, the worth of their 'bother' against someone having a truamatic flashback)

I wasn't "blowing up" I thought I was just stating my opinion. AND I wasn't ranting about it being bothersome to use warnings. I get warnings. Warnings make it possible to be able to skip something you don't want to read or can't read due to personal experiences or believes I was just questioning the logic and reasoning behind using a separate post while still allowing squick.

You're the one making this an issue I thought this was questions and discussion post not "ask a question and i'll make you feel stupid for even bothering" post. Next time you volunteer to be a mod be mindful that:
(a) people's views vary on pretty much everything
(b) you're going to get questions that you may view as stupid because we poor anons are NOT in your head and were not part of the production of this new kink meme.
(c) This is a NEW structure things are bound to get bungled up, people be confused over even the simplest things.
(d) -and this is a big one- when you have a lot of information in one post it can often times seem contradictory and even the most meticulous reader will miss a line or two on their few first times reading through something. It is IMPOSSIBLE (unless you're super awesome like Spencer Reid) to be able to pick out each individual line and automatically filter it into your brain. No matter how hard someone tries, the brain gets tired and skips things. PLUS if your family has no idea about your fanfiction dirty little secret you have to stop in the middle of post and come back, then you forget where you were.

ALSO I believe I stated that it was a good idea and I wasn't agreeing with the other person about going back, it's just going to take some getting used to. I was trying to offer a solution to a perceived problem, while offering reasons while, at least I, think it is a problem. Note that I actually said that something that would be helpful was a Kink list for the vanilla post. If you volunteer to mod you should take suggestions as they are meant... friendly. Don't get defensive and make someone feel like an idiot for even trying. While you may think that you were crystal clear... at least 2 people thought that the post wasn't, I can guarantee you that at least a few more think the same.

I truly do understand the need for warnings and also the "safe space" I'm a victim of domestic violence and rape... so I get how some things can be triggering. What I DON'T get is why someone can't just skip over that particular post if it is triggering or squicky. No one is forcing anyone to read anything. Hell no one is forcing someone to be on this kinkmeme. This, though, is just a personal opinion and I understand the need for some people for a separation (cause no matter the reasons behind it, that's what it is) and it is a good idea as I've said many times already.

I've just read the link you provided and I tend to agree with you both sides have sympathy (while I really don't agree that rape is the point of kinkmeme, i thought it was anonymity for prompters and writers that would never ask/write something where it could be traced back to them) but I fully believe that that's why there should be warnings in the headings so I really lean towards the "don't like it, don't read it" side.

I think 'SafeSpace' might be a better term. Because you have answered my questions even though we've gotten into a debate (sorry for that btw) I do have a better understanding of what should go in the vanilla/safe space.

I can't really speak for whomever posted this first but I don't see a need to revert. Your reasons for a "safe space" are extremely valid and poignant.

also i'm an idiot and in re-reading I realize you didn't mean that I was blowing up.. SORRY

and also forgive me for the bi-polar feel of that post.. I write stream of consciousnesses lol

So 5B is just the filtered one.

5A, Everything Goes: Hotch and Haley mutually respectful hurt and comfort sex - with or without a strap on, Foyet rapes Hotch, Tobias tortures Reid but then Morgan sex him better, Emily having sex with Doyle while undercover and fearing for her life, Reid fisting Garcia while carefully following Garcia's instructions. Morgan and Reid and peanut butter under a restaurant table.

5B, Safe Space: Hotch and Haley mutually respectful hurt and comfort sex - with or without a strap on, Reid fisting Garcia while carefully following Garcia's instructions. Morgan and Reid and peanut butter under a restaurant table.

I feel like that's part of the problem. It's not obvious that crossposting is encouraged (only that you discourage it in some cases), so people aren't sure where to post prompts and where they'll receive fills and so on. It means there are two places to keep up with and anything that adds complexity to something is bound to not be very well received.

I get the reasoning behind it, but I think most people would have preferred adding warnings or something like that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Questions and Discussion Post for the Criminal Minds Kink Meme

no subject

no subject

This is complicated?

The Internet Is Forever

no subject

no subject

Read the posts plz

Re: Read the posts plz

It is NOT a separation, it is the additional safe space

Re: It is NOT a separation, it is the additional safe space

Re: It is NOT a separation, it is the additional safe space

Re: Read the posts plz

Re: Read the posts plz